6 Jun

I woke up with the Monday Morning Blues like everyone else today. Clear skies didn’t help, at first. I boot up my electric tartan screen plagued with lines of so many colors that I’m sure Apple Macintosh has ascended to the heigth of Scottish aristocracy. And they’re welcome to it.

I boot up this magic almost-flat little book that plays music and remembers my brain-farts. Takes pictures, captures physical vibrations in the air. Open the book only to find that one of my favorite songs has disappeared. The one I was hankering for this melancholy morning. There’s a big blank on the list. I play it, nothing. Damn! So I boot up Blonde Redhead instead. Nothing. Shit! So it’s gonna be one of those fuckin’ weeks, what comes Thursday? Sorry Mr Stewart you’ve got three days to live please pay the bill before you leave.


The volumes switched off. D’uh! Live without technology for a while and you get stupid. You start doing things like actually noticing the faces in the night-clouds at night. The song’s playing its place on the list remains blank. A secret song. One little skerick of truth left in the world where the hacker can’t find it. Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!!!!

The volume’s off, switch it on. See how easy it is when you forget about your teen angst bullshit for five seconds. I’m having a day. Fuck off World.

I don’t know why I was fussing, it was maybe the last beautiful day to be had for a while. Outside the clouds gather and the wind shakes its fist at us. We’re gonna get a blasting. I’m just lost in myself. Transcending ‘self’ is the key to contentment in life. These are words, I tell others, to live by. But I find I’ve gone a long time now wallowing in ‘self’, lost exploring the extinct crevices of I, me, mine, festering at the injuries poured on me by those who should love me. And why don’t they love me – goddammitt!

Oh this morning that bark cabin the mountains looked pretty good to me. But slowly the day manifests as a god one. I’m stuck into the work. And consistently something appears, something that didn’t exist before I sat down this morning. Some semblance of vague satisfaction creeps into me thru the afternoon, maybe my existence is justified after all.

Dusk, and friends gather. Beefs are settled with a minimum of fuss, I catch up with this guy, he’s crazy man. Always fun. Won’t say what but he got away with it. Feel the love, se the smiles. These guys are glad to see me. Why the fuss? Have I been in some kind of prison that I’m always looking over my shoulder to see if there’s a guy with shank? There’s human snakes sure. Always on this planet sumbitches what can you do? Leave it out.

And what about the shit they give me, these friends. Taking shit’s part of the deal, I know that. And haven’t they got plenty from me? The night has fallen but the sun has risen in my soul. Dig it, there’s wind at my back. The Earth is alive, magic returns and there’s two vivid blue eyes out there somewhere got a hangdog droop about them. I got things to do this week, so many things. And one of ’em is to make those eyes laugh.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: