10 Mar

Meditation has become a part of my daily existence, something I’m beginning to hunger for. I learned it from these guys. Can’t say I saw any of the trappings of power there. No attempts at mind control. They offered meditation classes free-of-charge and of course I wondered what the catch was. But, still, I knew I wouldn’t get sucked into a cult. And I was having trouble getting into a meditative state. What to lose?

Nothing really. We were taken up into a quiet room bathed in a golden reddish light. In front of us was a large image of a red and orange vortex sprinkled with glitter. And twice each session we practiced what is called Raj Yoga. This is not a physical but a mental yoga. The difference from ‘standard’ meditation is that you are to remain with your eyes open, staring at the centre of the vortex: a glowing yellow dot.

Twice each session with the lights dimmed, our yogi, Judith, sat behind us. I was tempted more than once to see whether she was meditating or observing us during these sessions, but I never did. Maybe she was just trying to keep awake. These guys get up at 3.30am. During meditation a tape was played in which a gentle woman’s voice essentially instructed us in the opening of our souls. According to the doctrine of Raj Yoga our souls are eternal and our awareness of body is a distraction that leads to misery. This is, of course, fundamentally Buddhist.


What isn’t is that there is a creator god, whom they refer to as The Supreme. Their theology includes the other godheads: Jesus, Muhammad, Abraham, Buddha. There’s a four part cycle of history which starts high and sinks lower. The prophets appear when we start to lose our way. And during the second week, meditating, I realized that there was something very Catholic about it. The golden red vortex before me gave me a flash of Raphael’s sacred portraits, but, funnily enough of…


There were only women in the centre, I met. There are men involved in teaching as well but the women seem central. They were very nice and appeared to be every bit the personification of their faith. But there was something of that clerical vibe about them and they believe things that run contrary to science. Earthquakes are caused by negative energy humans create?! Well, my Stoic masters, the Buddhists too, know this is folly. I can’t join.

Tonight’s the last class. I’m not going. I could but I’m not. I know I’m not joining, not going to. Don’t need a fellowship just yet and the phrase The Supreme sticks in my throat, it’s not my name for God. I think the Jews are right, you don’t name God. I think Raphael is right, Paul McCartney too. And they’re all wrong. How can they not be? How can any of us possibly comprehend much less understand the Infinite? The point is to remember it and connect with it occassionly. It helps.

But I respect them and I thank them. They helped me and for nothing. Their theology… is pause for contemplation. Maybe I’ll write about it sometime. Regardless, they did help me to enter a meditative state. This is now easy for me. And I start with my eyes open contemplating an orb with warm colour (an art deco lamp actually) – I open my soul…

And then I close my eyes.



  1. Philomena March 10, 2011 at 8:46 am #

    You are a complete wanker.

    You know nothing about the practice of meditation or what it feels like. Or you are incapable of describing it. In your case both are probably.

    Absolutely pitiful, empty, middle-class bullshit.

  2. AC Stewart March 10, 2011 at 9:48 am #


    You may care to notice that I have not attempted to describe the meditative experience. So what can be gleaned from my knowledge of it I shouldn’t wonder.

    I’ve only been doing it for a couple months now but I’ve already noticed I’m much less liable to be irritated by people. More inclined to kindness. Isn’t that nice? 🙂

  3. AC Stewart March 10, 2011 at 9:49 am #

    And I’m not exactly ‘middle-class’, it’s much worse than that.

  4. Philomena March 10, 2011 at 9:53 am #

    Nobody gives a fuck about what you feel. If you can’t describe the process and experience then you either have experienced nothing and/or you are incapable of doing so.

    Hilarious for such a wanker.

  5. AC Stewart March 10, 2011 at 11:10 pm #

    Phil, Just because I haven’t doesn’t mean I can’t. Does it ever occur to you that someone who spends their time surfing the web in sole furtherance of venting obnoxious spleen might be a little wanting as a judge of spiritual fibre?


    Funny that.

    • Philomena March 11, 2011 at 5:51 am #

      Like a lot of spurned men you see me everywhere. I only post on one blog, that of dear Graeme and recently a few times here.

      Keep meditating dear boy. But why bother writing about it if you have nothing to say but platitudes and window dressing.

      You are a thug who once told me to suicide, so much for your spirituality. And you have know demonstrated despite your pretension you know nothing about meditation something of a specialty for me, in both theory and practice. I would have shared if you’d showed the slightest curiousity, but as usual, it’s all about you.

      I’ll leave you to your solipsism, angry joyless man.

      What goes around, comes around.

  6. AC Stewart March 12, 2011 at 12:38 am #

    You would have shared Phil? Shared? With me, the angry, joyless man. Let’s see what you’ve shared with me:

    You are a complete wanker.
    Absolutely pitiful, empty, middle-class bullshit.
    Nobody gives a fuck about what you feel.
    You are a thug

    Thanks for sharing. Get some help Phil. I’m banning you I can’t be bothered.

  7. AC Stewart March 12, 2011 at 2:51 am #

    Okay Phil I put you back. And again I’m sorry about the ‘kill yourself’ quip which was ages ago, but obviously you’re still sore about it. I have actually tried since then to be sensitive with you and that’s actually pretty difficult y’know.

    But if you persist in mindless abuse I will spam you forever. This blog isn’t about commentary, it’s about intellectual self-pleasuring. 🙂

    If you want to tell me I’m a wanker or know shite, fine, but please put the effort in and deploy such barbs with wit, Madam. I only ask for wit.

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